What It All Means

Book 1

by 

Ralph Riccie

Chapter 1

Millie really could never remember experiencing the happiness she had since that magical summer. The birth of Robbie twelve years ago had given her a feeling she had never had before: the joy of being a mother. And the difficulties she had during the pregnancy and the 36 hours of labor had made that elation even more profound. But it was her love of him rather than the feeling of being really and truly loved herself that had always evaded her. Her loveless marriage to Dom had only made things worse. She had never loved him, and he knew it too. The fact that he was the seventh man she asked to marry her was proof enough of that even for the most dim-witted of men. And Dom was definitely at the head of that class.

Her promiscuity, which began even before she had her first period, was probably an attempt to achieve that desperately missed feeling of love she longed for. She knew that was the reason all the men in her neighborhood thought she was a good lay, but that was not the most important attribute when choosing a wife.  A wife was there to be a good housekeeper, a good cook, a good mother, and most importantly, a good and faithful companion for life. There would always be women like Millie to meet your sexual needs and desires. Besides, what good man wanted his child to be kissed by a woman who had lost count of all the lips and various body parts that had already passed through that mouth countless times before? And what wife would enjoy being debased by a man’s most vile and prurient needs?  No, Millie knew the kind of love she longed for was meant for the wife she could never be.

So, she married Dom and gritted her teeth when he kissed and touched her. And then once Robbie was born, the intimacy she had to endure with him was no longer necessary. The times Dom enjoyed conjugal bliss with her became less and less and then totally stopped. Her needs were met by the husband of one of her five sisters, neighbors, strangers, and whoever met her fancy. Her only stipulation was a strict adherence to an age requirement. They had to be at least 18.  The last lover she had before that magical summer was Sal.  He was a neighborhood kid who lusted after her since he was 12, and Millie knew how he felt about her, even then.

Until he was of age, she let him do chores around the apartment, take Robbie to the movies, and on occasion do her shopping. She never touched him or allowed him to get close until his 18th birthday. And then she gave him the gift he had always dreamt about and made it better than he could have ever imagined. Dom had to have his needs met, too, but probably had to pay for them. Since she figured he had no such concern about age, that was another thing she despised about him.

Millie drifted from affair to affair content to find her desires met whenever the need arose. But she felt she worked hard at being a good mother to Robbie, making the best home she could for him under the circumstances. It broke her heart, though, when he had asked her why he had no brothers or sisters. She could only say that for that to happen, your parents had to love each other. Though he was only six at that time, it saddened her because she remembered his eyes told her he knew what she meant.

She had taken great pains to keep her affairs secret from Robbie and had thought she had been successful. At least she had hoped she had been successful.

And then in the summer of 1964, she met Marcelo, the nephew of her sister Alba’s husband Giacomo. There are things you remember vividly because of the impact they make on your life. Those who were alive could always recall where they were on December 7, 1941, November 22, 1963, and 9/11/2001. For Millie, that Memorial Day weekend was one such event. Little did she know that what would transpire over those three days would change all their lives forever to a journey of despair, death, and maybe, just maybe, redemption.